Super Bowl

"What did you think of Jennifer Hudsons performance?"

"I mean, it was nice. They got that time delay though incase some titties pop out."

Hot Dogs!

"What's for dinner?"

"Hot dogs and baked beans."

"I love me some baked beans. But I don't eat no hot dogs."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What about beef hot dogs?"

"Nah."

"Well damn, I'd tear dat up."

"You gotta have some applesauce."

"I ain't hatin'. I'd eat that too. Put it on the side!"

"Ew, you nasty."

"When I was little, my Mom said I only ate two things. It caught up with me later too. Nuffin' else, just hot dogs and yogurt."

Mattress Covers?

"Remember when I told you that my cousin pissed in my bed? She got my Mom too. My Mom was flamin'. I asked her, 'See? It don't feel good do it?'"

Doesn't Matter If You're Black or White

"I'm listening to black Michael Jackson. When he sang Human Nature, was he still black?"

Girl A starts singing Human Nature, "Remember when his nose cracked?"

Michael Phelps

"Can you bellee dat? Do you think they paid someone alotta money for that? Cause you know, some people will give up stuff for some dollahs."

"Maybe. I mean, so then you gotta look at ya peoples and be like, which one of ya'll muthahfuckah's took this pitcher?"

"You really can't trust nobody, yo."

Instead ah's

'Ordergraph' instead of 'Autograph'
'Pitcher' instead of 'Picture'

Forreals

"She be like, why you always be sayin' child please? And I started laughin'. I was like girl you better calm down before I smack the shit outta you yo."